Ana Is Doing Well

So, I know my daughter is well because she's getting bored now. I didn't end up writing an update yesterday because I spent the day entertaining her. We had no visitors for the morning and much of the afternoon, so we watched movies and had mommy/daughter time. I gave her a sponge bath and used the pedicure set she got as a gift from her cousins to scrub her feet. She thoroughly enjoyed that. Nothing she likes better than feeling like a princess, especially when mommy is the servant!

Since she was beginning to lose her mind with boredom, I asked a few friends to bring some things for her to do. Susan and Darlene showed up with enough things to keep her busy for weeks! Bless you guys! So now I actually have a little time to write an update.

Yesterday, the doctors cleared Ana to eat regular food. Even though she was crazy excited, she barely ate any of the food she ordered. I tried to tell her to take it slow since it has been over a week since she's had a meal, but she was adamant about ordering waffles, eggs and bacon. At first I was mortified by her choices (so nutritious!) but I figured I would pick that fight later and at least get her eating again. She only ended up eating a few bites of everything anyway. She wasn't much of an eater before all this, so I knew she wouldn't eat much after everything she's been through.

Later we tried some spaghetti and that still didn't do the trick. It doesn't help that hospital food is barely palatable. When Ana was on the clear liquid diet, one of the doctors suggested bringing chicken broth from the store, since the hospital broth tastes like boiled shoe. Now you know it's bad when even the doctors are recommending getting food elsewhere. Maybe I'll see about getting her some food from somewhere else today.

She won't have to worry about hospital food much longer anyway, though. The doctors said that the're gonna take out the drain in her side (which, by the way, has been basically empty since they inserted it). AND, she's gonna get to go home either tomorrow or Wed. Yay!!! I am so thankful that this part of the journey is nearly done. Sleeping on this pull out chair just is not working out well. They're made for short, skinny people. I got the short part covered, but lord knows I'm far from skinny. It'll be so nice to sleep in my own bed again! And I've been thinking longingly about a long soak in our deep bathtub with candles and all! But, more importantly, it'll be great to see Ana comfortable. It's difficult to watch her suffer and feel helpless to do anything about it.

So, now that we know we're leaving soon, it's time to start going through the vast array of items that we've accumulated. So many people have sent flowers, ballons and other gifts that we were getting crowded out of our hospital room. Now that we're in a room by ourselves, it's a bit better, though. My mother took some things home for us, but we still have quite a bit. It feels like we moved in. And, after all that it took to move into the house a few weeks ago, the last thing I want is to feel like I'm organizing another move!

However, I have a real reminder right here in our room, of how fortunate we are. There is a board up on the wall and written on it is, "Brian 659B, 6 North rocks!" according to the nurses, that poor kid was here for 8 months! They can't tell me, of course, what he was suffering from, but they did say he went home healthy. So, I remain grateful for so many things. Probably the biggest blessing is that I really had no clue how serious her condition was in the beginning. It wasn't until the real danger had passed that I discovered how close I came to losing my baby girl. Thank God I was ignorant. From day one, I was certain that this was just a little bump in the road and that she was going to be all right. Sometimes, ignorance really is bliss. So, I am immeasurable thankful for that ignorance and my daughter's health.

I am also grateful for eveyone who took part in her healing: the doctors, nurses, family and friends that showed her so much love and care. Even her teacher and school Principal came! How many people can say that? There is no way to repay everyone for that gift. You are all deeply rooted in my heart and prayers. We are so blessed!

To Ana! My beautiful, courageous, loving, strong-willed daughter!

I love you!

Hospital Room Change

Ana has been moved to another room in the hospital. The room # is 659B. The new phone number is 323-361-5266.

The tube in her nose came out last night and she was able to have water and a popsicle this morning. Probably the best popsicle she's ever had. Her energy gets better and stronger each day. Due to an issue with diarrhea, there's a possibility that she will be here a few days longer, so calls and visits would be appreciated. Please keep her in your prayers. We REALLY want to get her home in time for Thanksgiving.

Blessings and love,

Kristin

Ana's Progress 2

Ana continues to get better and better. This morning they disconnected the tube in her nose from the suction. If she continues to be ok (and so far she has), they'll take the tube out of her nose!! That's the biggest thing bothering her right now. Plus, once that comes out, she'll be able to drink and, soon after that, eat. The poor girl hasn't had a meal in over a week!

The fever and diarrhea that had been making her miserable are going away now. Thank God. She was ready to go off the next time a nurse approached her with ice packs. I have to say I am inspired by and proud of my daughter's incredible strength! She has been a very active part of her healing. She has no trouble telling everyone what she needs. One of my favorite moments was when her father was visiting and he decided to eat a Slim Jim (beef jerky). She looked at him and, in a very kind voice, said "Daddy, I know you're hungry, but if you keep eating that over here I'm gonna throw up". That's my Ana.

The nurses have been making a point to get her up and walking so that her organs start functioning better. The doctors were amazed when she grabbed onto her IV pole and went racing past them and went around the lobby area as if it was a Nascar track! I have been blessed with an incredible daughter. I am so proud of her!!!

My guess is that she'll be coming home on Sunday or Monday. Then she'll be able to rest and recouperate for several weeks before coming back for her appendectomy. After everything she's been through, that'll be simple.

Today, she told me she's not up to having too many visitors. So, if you want to come by, please text me and I'll check with her. She's happy to know that she is so loved. It just gets tiring when too many people come because she feels obligated to socialize even if she's sleepy. She's very honest, so if she's up to it, she'll let us know. Once we get home, people can still visit her there.

There are no words to express my gratitude for the support you all have given us. So many reasons to have a wonderful thanksgiving celebration!

Blessings and love!

Kristin

Ana's Progress

Ya-Baha-u'l-Abha! Ana is doing much better! The doctor came in this morning and she was much more alert and comunicative. He said that the treatment seems to be working and they're gonna take good care of her so she can get home. Her stomach has softened some and she was able to walk for a good while today. So, they won't have to cut her open today as they had feared.

I'm not sure when she will be released, but once she comes home, she'll still be on antibiotics for several weeks and then she will return to have her appendectomy, but it will be a minor surgery and they won't have to cut her open. This is what we were hoping for. God is good! All the time!

Please continue to pray. I know that it is your love and prayers that are making a huge difference for her. Bless you all!

Ana Update Nov 19th

Ana had a better day today. She was able to get some good rest last night and there were no surgical procedures done, so she had a more restful day. In the early part of the day, she was tired and having some stomach pains, but by the afternoon, she was teasing her father and making jokes. Even earlier, when she was having fevers and they kept putting ice on her, she said in an irritated voice, "I feel like frosty!" In the evening she had fun teasing Tim and messing with him. She said she likes tall people, but not their personalities. Of course, she was only joking because she was really happy to see him. She was also happy to have visits from her uncles Darius and John, Grammy, Kahlil, Dee, Nasya, auntie Lynda, auntie Nekesa, Leena (bless her for riding 3 hours in traffic to visit for 30 min), little cousin Jeffrey (even though he tried to jack her stuffed animals), Allison, Louis, Burrell, Jerry, Natasha, baby Jaden, and best of all... Moriah! She was in tears again feeling so loved. She was so happy that everyone came and that's some of the best medicine she can get.

After everyone left, she went for a short walk around the hospital and that went better than expected. I was quite happy to see that. Now, she is resting peacefully after a full day. Please continue to keep her in prayer. We need everyone to visualize her absesses draining into the white pouch attached to her left hip area. She had a surgical procedure done to insert the drain and, so far nothing has come out. We need that to drain. I know that the power of visualization is strong, so if everyone sees her absesses draining, I'm certain they will. Especially if that visualization is fortified by divine power through prayer.

Thank you all for your continued love, support and prayers. Ana and I both feel very blessed to have so many loved ones. We love you all so much. There are no words to thank you.

More updates to come tomorrow.

Blessings!

Kristin

You Never Know When....

You never know when things in your life will suddenly change. There are no givens even when you think you've got it all figured out. That is why each moment is so precious! I know it sounds cliche and maybe it is a bit, but that doesn't change the reality of the statement. I keep forgetting to value the moments I am given in this life. I get caught up in the sway of emotions about things that in reality, don't even matter all that much. I spend my days planning the next day, week, month, year and forget about right now. That is, until I get a reminder.

Tonight, I got a serious reminder that will be with me for a long time. I was on my way home, driving north on LaCienega, just past the Ladera Center, when I saw a car swerve in front of a mini van. They collided at high speeds (La Cienega is a highway over there). I watched as the car spun around and then the accident was over. The whole thing only lasted about 20 seconds. I stopped and put my hazards on. My son, Kahlil, asked if we should do something. That question jarred me back to where I was and I immediately called 911. Kahlil got out of the car, as did several other people, to see if there was anything he could do to help. I stayed in the car with Ana and made my report to the 911 operator. After the report was done, all I could do was wait. I pulled over to the side of the road because many cars were getting backed up and they wanted to go around the accident to the fire lane so that they could get through. I figured I should wait, since I was a witness. It took about 10 minutes for the first fire trucks and paramedics to arrive. In the meantime, I got a closer look and realized that one of the cars was half gone and the rest of it was a mangled mess! My heart sank as the realization that the person in that car was likely dead set in. I began to pray. But I didn't even know what to pray for. Should I pray that the person was alive? Surely, if they were, they were in bad shape. Would I even want to live through that? I didn't want to say a prayer for the departed if they were in fact alive. So, I just asked God to watch over everyone involved.

The people in the mini van were injured, but it was clear that they would probably be fine. From the accounts of some of the people who went close to the car, the person driving the small car (a mustang, they said) was a young African-American man. So sad! It was so unreal watching the fireman work to pry pieces of the car out of the way so they could get to the person inside. The people in the minivan were put on stretchers, placed in an ambulance and taken to the hospital. After they were taken care of, it took at least 30 minutes to actually get to the person in the Mustang. It was finally confirmed by one of the officers that the young man was deceased. So sad! I keep thinking about the family he left behind. His poor mother who will be notified tonight that her son is no longer alive. I don't even want to imagine the horror of that experience! The thoughts that will go through her mind. My prayers are with her. And I definitely pray that he didn't leave any children behind.

I waited for nearly an hour and finally gave my statement to the California Highway Patrol and the Inglewood Police. I was also interviewed by a TV Crew from some show. They weren't news people, so I'm not quite sure why they were there. Anyway, the police said they may need to call me to follow up. I don't know how much assistance I can be to them, but I will do my best.

This experience showed me to appreciate each breath, each moment I have with my children, family and friends. It reminds me to stay detached from the material world and stay connected to God, where my true joy comes from. I gotta give my best every day, because I never know when it will be my last. I'm sorry someone had to die to remind me of that. I just hope that his sacrifice will make a difference for many people. There must be some good that comes from this. A young life taken. An occasion to be saddened and an occasion to grow.

I feel really blessed! I hope you do too. Because you are.

Make each day a great one.

Blessings!

Kristin

Children & Youth: Agents of Change

It is 1:45 am. I am exhausted after a long, busy day. And yet, I have an urge to write. Since my brain hasn’t calmed down yet, I guess I’ll take a moment to share my thoughts. I spent much of my day today working with children and youth at the Children’s Theater Company program we are doing at the Baha’i Center. There is nothing more inspiring than watching children and youth step out, challenge themselves and realize that they can be agents of change in the world. My heart overflowed as I watched Emory, a 2-year-old little girl, emphatically proclaim that “So powerful is the light of unity that it can illuminate the whole earth!” That is a quote from the Baha’i Writings, authored by Baha’u’llah. Emory, however, is not from a Baha’i family. She learned the quote with the help of Mehr, who saw the amazing capacity of this tiny child and put it on blast for all of us to see. I also had the bounty of watching two youth work through their fear of singing in front of others and push through it in less than 30 minutes. I have worked with many adults who have developed mental obstacles around their voice and it usually becomes a long process involving weeks, months, even years to overcome. These two youths stepped out and plowed through their fear with amazing courage.

The kids in this program are all working on musicals that speak on real life issues and present us with an opportunity to reflect on the habits and beliefs we hold that contribute to the difficulties in the world. They are using their talents to create change and having a lot of fun in the process. They are developing their spiritual qualities and putting them into practice both at the program and at home. What an amazing opportunity to be of service! I have heard so many times that youth can move the world. Every time I get a chance to work with children and youth, they show me how true that statement is. When youth and children speak, they penetrate the hearts of adults in a way that grown-ups can rarely do. They help us to see things in a completely different way and their amazing capacity to take risks, challenge themselves and think out of the box inspires us to do and be more. These are the leaders of tomorrow. When we invest in them, we invest in the future of mankind. I am so thankful for the opportunity to learn from these incredible individuals while contributing to the further development of their gifts and talents. What a blessing!

What is beautiful?

Ever wonder how the current standard of beauty came to the forefront?
There was a time when full figured women were desired by many. Now, that many seems to have become few. Somehow, things changed. Changed so much that women are willing to cut themselves open, inject their bodies with man made materials with no thought of the harm they might be causing themselves. All in an effort to "fix" themselves so that they
might appear beautiful. There is something very sick about that, I think. Very wrong and misguided. We have come so far from the truth. So most of us spend lonely days wishing we could find true love. Some of us stay in disfunctional relationships just to avoid feeling alone. And it seems like very few are experiencing happiness these days.

What if we lived in a world where beauty truly was based on character? Where a woman who was valued based on her love and sincerity. What if little girls learned that their minds and hearts were what needed to be developed rather than their bodies? Because the reality is that the physical only gets you so far. Eventually there's go to be a lot more than physical beauty for a relationship to last.

This is my prayer for all those people out there, myself included, who miss out on the amazing love possible when two people connect based on who they really are. No facades, no tricks, no lies. For all the women who feel less than because they don't look like the models and entertainers plastered all over the media and magazines etc. May we all find peace in knowing our inner beauty. May we find true love for ourselves so that we can create true love with others. May we be examples to the children of what real beauty is. May young girls learn
that self-respect is attractive, desirable and necessary. May lonely men and women find love by seeing the value inside the gift instead of the wrapping. May we all feel the joy of the deep and everlasting love we all deserve.

Blessings!

What is in the way of your happiness?

We live in a society that values events.  We use events as milestones to measure our achievement: graduations, marriages and birthdays, finding the job, reaching the goal.  We tell ourselves that when we arrive, when the event occurs, we will be happy.  This unfortunate focus on events robs us of the joy of life.  Why?  Because we are always looking to the future for our happiness!  If we are continually waiting for the next event, the next milestone to define ourselves by, how can we experience joy in the moment?  Disapproval and disappointment come from wanting to arrive.  The problem is that, since we are always growing, there is no such thing as arriving.  If we tell ourselves that we can only be happy when we have arrived, we cannot experience any lasting happiness.  Once the excitement of the latest achievement has worn off, we find the next thing to work toward and don't allow ourselves to be satisfied until we have "arrived" at the next benchmark.  Now, don't get me wrong.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with setting goals and working to achieve them.  The problem comes in when we allow our happiness and self-worth to be tied up in reaching the goal.  When we recognize that life is a process of discovery and rediscovery - that we are continually growing, we can learn to appreciate and value the process, rather than events.  We can see the perfection in each moment.  We can allow ourselves to find the joy in where we are right now.  Happiness is a state of being that is independent of any circumstance.  We can choose to experience joy any time we want.  So why not choose to be grateful for the journey right now? Why not enjoy this moment?  See it as a precious gift.  Tomorrow is only promised to some. Why not choose to be happy right now?  The only thing standing in the way of your happiness is you.

What are you grateful for?

I am grateful for the many incredible men who have shown up in my life.  Those who showed me what true love looks like. Those who saw beauty in me when I didn't see it in myself.  Those who called me on my crap even when I didn't wanna hear it.  So many men have inspired me with their courage, wisdom, strength, and - most of all- their vulnerability!  Many people view vulnerability as a weakness and yet that is what allows us to connect with each other on deeper levels.  When we choose to be genuine, to speak from heart, to let others see us for who we truly are, that is when we move people, inspire others, make powerful connections.  So why have I been hiding so much?  What is it that I'm afraid of.  Rejection?  Being judged?  Revealing my flaws and having them used against me?  All of the above and more.  The interesting thing is, those who know me best.  Those who are aware of my so called flaws and weaknesses.  Those who watch me struggle with my self.  They are the ones who love me the most and are inspired by me.  So maybe there's some truth to all this.  Maybe just being myself.  Accepting myself as I am.  Being willing to be vulnerable, honest, genuine and true to who I am.  Maybe that's where freedom comes from.  Maybe that's where strength comes from.  And maybe, just maybe, if who I am is good enough for the universe, it's good enough for me.

So, I thank all the men in my life for being examples for me.  For helping me to see myself more fully.  I am grateful to have been blessed with so many incredible men in my life.  And even more grateful, that I am aware enough to see and receive the many gifts they have given to me.

So..... What are you grateful for?  Please take a moment and leave a comment.  Your words just might be healing, might be inspiration for someone else.

Blessings!

I love technology!

What an amazing thing we humans have been able to accomplish through
divine assistance! I am posting this blog from my cell phone. The
ingenuity of brilliant minds using their talent for the greater good
never ceases to amaze and inspire me.
--kristinsings

Thought for the Day

It is easy to get caught up in the routine and challenges of life.  Easy to become frustrated with circumstances, disappointments or things we think we lack.  Take a moment right now to stop the madness.  Find something... anything that you are truly grateful for.  It doesn't matter how big or small you think it is.  All that matters is that you truly feel thankful.  Let the gratitude fill you up. Realize that in life, there are always blessings.  Even in the most difficult times, there are blessings.  Make a conscious effort to focus on the blessings and you will attract more joy in your life.  

Hello All

I've decided to start a blog so that I can share some of the things I've been learning through my process of growth and awakening with my friends and anyone else who wants to listen.  I've experienced so many breakthroughs over the last few years and I see life quite differently now.  I've come through some of the most difficult years of my life thus far.  A lot of progress has been made.  A lot more to go.  I am seeing life as an ongoing opportunity for new discoveries and I'm excited at the prospect of new things to come.  Recently a few of my friends have been going through some difficult health challenges, and one of them is terminal.  These experiences are reminding me that every moment matters and that every minute that I spend frustrated, upset, or sad, is a minute of joy and discovery lost.  Life is precious.  I am here at this point in the evolution of mankind for a reason.  There are no mistakes.  I have a voice that is meant to be heard.  I have skills that are meant to be used.  I pray that I use my voice and my talents wisely so that this world may be a better place for me having been in it.  This is my greatest hope.  May I live up to that standard each day that I live.  

Blessings!